Upon leaving work tonight, I realized I needed a drink. But what kind of drink, I asked myself.

I had choices, you see. Beer of any variety at the quite efficient gas station near my home. $6 wine from the same gas station. More expensive wine from the liquor store. Or, well, liquor from the liquor store.

So I decided to, while standing in between said gas station and liquor store, have a cigarette and think. Why do I need a drink? The reasons would lead me to the correct choice.


I began to go through the reasons I was full of sadness and wanted to be full of alcohol.

1. My job is a joke. I am now working one day a week because my boss is a prick.

2. I got no homework done today because...I'm a failure.

3. I conversed with my ex on the phone today (phone plan discussion). And he was nice which lead me to

4. Making me have missing feelz about the ex. But then I remembered

5. He has good days and bad days, and the bad days gave me no missing feelz, but instead


6. Makes me annoyed at his existence.


7. I am broke as fuck.

8. I am sore as fuck from kickboxing class last night.

9. My friend gave me half-assed plans for tonight ("if I don't go to this thing, you can totally come over!") and then never contacted me about said plans.


10. I want sex. But Consort Fluffybutt is sick. So I'm not staying at his house as previously planned, which I'm not upset at him for. But I miss him. And want sex.

11. I have no plans for tonight and I look bangin. I wasted this much time on my hair and makeup for nothing.


12. My phone is dead. Stupid Galaxy s3.

So, running through this list, I decided that beer or wine (cheap or expensive) just won't do. Off to the liquor store I went! And with $50 in the bank, I found the perfect solution.


And with the rest of my money in the bank, I ordered Dominos. Now it's time to kill all the feelings. And muscle tone.


I'll be back and more drunk soon friends. Sooooon....