What is the structure of a rational person’s* disagreement?

Seriously. I am 37 years old, and just now realizing I have no idea. (I know how to act at work and in public scenarios, and I have the sense that most folks get more heated at home with loved ones, but since that’s behind closed doors and my loved ones are all ... my loved ones, I have no idea what that looks like.)

Sometimes I feel really good about where I am in life, especially considering where I came from. And sometimes, I get really bummed out that after a decade of therapy and so much intense working on myself, it still feels like I have the emotional IQ of a particularly dense middle schooler.

Be nice. I’ve just been picked at by an extremely volatile family member, and while I tried to handle myself in ways I could be proud of, I am feeling very raw.

*For our purposes, rational person is here defined as someone with strong EQ, healthy boundaries, and good interpersonal skills.