Just a heads-up: your post โ€” timestamped five minutes ago and titled "I Am Totally, Irrevocably Doomed" โ€” is not linking up as it should.

P.S. You've left me dangling, with the headline plus the words "and then I read this.....", and I'll have you know I don't take kindly to being kept dangling. Harrumph, and then some. :=)