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For the love of god, how do you block numbers on the iPhone?

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.
This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

So this guy who was my brother's friend's brother when I was in fucking MIDDLE SCHOOL friended me a few years ago, back when I made the mistake of having my number on my profile. He's the SCARY type—lots of selfies of himself with katanas, lots of quasi-suicidal posts, and hella-awful obsessive/posessive posts whenever his relationships end—fuck it, just absolutely the kind of person I expect to see shooting up a theater or driving across the country in a diaper to murder the woman who says "Don't text me again."

ANYWAYSSSS. He texts me reliably like once every three months. "Hey." And I forget the number, so I'm like "Who's this?" and he's like "[Fuckwit]", and I'm like NOPE. And I don't respond. I just do not want to deal with him, but I also don't want to acknowledge his ass long enough to save his number in my phone. Today I finally responded as if my number was new, and was like, "[Fuckwit] who? Oh, hey dude! This is [male name]. Sorry, new number." So hopefully that's that. But I still have a few people (all pervy males—surprise!) who I would just like to wall my phone against. So I could do one of two things . . .

Ask you fine folks how you've managed to block numbers on your iPhones. Apps, etc. (there is no way to do it using iPhone's normal settings), or . . .

Come up with increasingly ridiculous ways to respond to these fuckers. Starting with responding to [Fuckwit] right now, telling him how much this imaginary bro misses him.

ETA: Success! I just responded to his silence with "been a long time man. how u been?" and just got "wrong number, my bad." Dragon SLAYED.


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