Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
Illustration for article titled Found Thing: Disembodied, Veiny Thundercock...

...just lookin' for a home!

This is Issue 1 (of what I hope to be many) of Found Thing! I have myriad pictures of found things in my phone that I want to share with a wider audience! Below will be the general format of Found Thing posts.


Of course, feel free to share your Found Thing in the comments!

What: Giant Dildo

Where: 135th Street subway station in central Harlem on the B and C train lines

Synopsis: I had ridden the train home from class at approximately 3pm and found this cock on the ground right in front of the emergency exit on the platform. This is NOT a major subway station (i.e., it's a local stop in a non-touristy neighborhood), so I was not only shocked by the cock, I was also shocked by the lack of gawking at the cock. This was maybe my second or so month of living here, so I figured this was just a textbook incidence of Jaded New Yorkers, but I was still surprised at the lack of at least high school kids giggling at it.


Funny thing was that I'd actually exited the subway station before I decided to re-swipe my card so I could go back and take a picture...

Hope you enjoyed Issue 1 of Found Thing!


So I thought I should make like a good scientist and operationalize the term "found thing." Below are my criteria. I will let you know if I modify said criteria. Please let me know if you have any suggestions/questions.

  • Must be of the "thing" persuasion in terms of the "person, place, or thing" definition for nouns. Examples include artwork/graffiti, lost or discarded objects, and disembodied, veiny thundercocks.
  • Related to above, if it is a monument, statue, or other such "thing," it must be one that you perceive to not be known to the larger population; in other words, if it's generally considered a "landmark," it doesn't count as a "found thing." For example, it cannot be something as well-known as the Eiffel Tower.
  • Most importantly, must be something you weren't searching for.
  • As a general rule, the weirder the thing, the better! In other words, if talking about said found thing would make for an entertaining story over drinks with your friends, then please share your found thing!

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