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Freakajeebus the Frakking Out...

Ok, a longlong time ago, before ManCandy, there was the German. I met him about ten years ago...long story short - boy meets girl and they both play games and their friends get involved and nothing really ever happens but everything gets weird...and nobody is friends anymore after several years of agonizing high school drama games.

I still think about the German quite a lot. He is still an unrequited love but pretty much a regret that I feel I've put well behind me...Earlier this evening I was all, "you know, I feel pretty good, life is good, I'm gonna meet someone soon..."

And so, the German, I haven't seen him in person for over two years, then Saturday I saw a friend of his, didn't say anything 'cuz I didn't recognize who he was at first...


Anyway, I am freaking out because I just saw the German in the neighborhood bar...MY neighborhood bar!! WTF?! I know it's a free world and the little bar a block away from my building does have it's charms...but there are thousands of other bars in this city that aren't a block away from my house! The German always had lots of issues and things are complicated to explain, but this kind fits a pattern with him...for one, it's a little bit stalkery. I mean, I know *a lot* about his life through friends of friends Facebook profiles (we still have a least one strong mutual friend) but have made sure to keep my distance. He was the one who told me he only wanted to be friends but then would repeatedly try to make me jealous. Or, at least, that's what it felt like to me - whatever it was, it felt creepy. As a huge of crush as I had on him, there was a lot holding me back and lot of it was his inconsistent behavior...and there was some stalking, physically, on his part.

It just kind of freaks me out, and a lot of it has more to do with how unsettled and excited by him he makes me feel, and reminds me of how crazy he made me feel...I am not worried about him approaching me again unless I specifically...signal. him. to. Ew. It's so weird and complicated.

SIGH. Anyway. Bothered by this weird behavior but then I'm not surprised by it (and not at all threatened.)

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