I did something so stupid today. I may have reinjured one of my knees and now I'm freaking out that I'll need surgery again. I can't afford surgery or PT right now. My parents can't afford to help me either.

It's starting to hurt more and more. My knee is feeling stiffer and stiffer. I've iced it and I'm lying in bed with it elevated by a pillow. It's wrapped snugly with an ace bandage.

I think it's a meniscus tear, based on location of pain (top inside of knee). I'm hoping it's a minor one, treatable by cortisone shots but I was never so lucky in the past. Why should this be any different? (And let's not even entertain the thought that I've torn my already once reconstructed acl...oops too late)

And I'm really scared. How could I have been so stupid?! I'm usually so careful, and the one time I try to do something, I end up ruining my knee even further.

Fuck.