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Friend advice: Flakiness?

So, I have this longtime friend, who I love, but is a bit flakey at times. She tends to go into her own world with her boyfriend (now husband and daughter) and wouldn't respond to phone, e-mail, all attempts to contact her other than snail-mail. This behavior caused me to be pissy at her and not contact her for over a year. However, we reconnected last year—Anyway, long story short, when my mom was in hospice she and her husband came up to visit me there. She said that she was going to come to the memorial service, but then she just didn't come (I had texted her and tried to call about this several times leading up to the event but no response). She never apologized either and has not contacted me since. I was, and am pretty pissed about this. I feel like she let me down, and it doesn't help that I didn't really have any of *my* friends at the memorial (we have a lot of family friends and the group of my sister's friends pretty much "adopted" me for the weekend, so I wasn't alone, but still) and that hurt. However, now that I'm back in town I have been debating reaching out to her. I'm just not sure, maybe this was the last straw? Am I being too harsh? I don't really have very many friends in the state anymore so I guess I'm a little desperate. I do miss her, but I'm not sure I'm willing to forgive her if she hasn't even asked for forgiveness. But I do tend to be passive aggressive like that so I'm not sure.


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