SehjMan has a story he likes to tell to tell people that, in my opinion makes my friends and I look really bad.
Backstory: A couple of summers ago, I had my 10th high school reunion. There were 6 of us that were really close in middle school/high school and have kept in good contact. We were all there. Although 4 of us are married, only 2 of the husbands attended. Back in high school, we weren't "cool" and never were invited to parties, other than the sleepovers we had at each others houses.
After the reunion at a local convention center, many people wanted to keep hanging out. One of the "cool kids" from high school offered to have people over to his parents house (they were out of town) to keep the party going. My friends and I wanted to go, both to continue hanging out, and (as lame as it is) because it was our first time being invited to hang out with the "cool kids".
We were at various stages of intoxication (I had 2 or 3 glasses of wine, a beer, and a shot over about 5 hours, so I considered myself pretty tipsy, but not super drunk. Two of my friends were pretty hammered). SehjMan was our DD and totally sober.
We went, stayed for a while, and left; there were lots of people (men and women) there. SehjMan was really weird about the whole thing.
Later, I found out that he had overheard two of the guys in the bathroom talking about trying to get one of my friends drunk and away from her husband. Whether they were joking or not, that's obviously a gross thing to say.
How he tells the story: My friends and I got super drunk at our reunion, got invited back to some guys house who obviously wanted to sleep with us, and we desperately wanted to go. We went, but it was a good thing he was there to make sure nothing bad happened.
Why does he keep telling this story? To me, there are only three things it implies:
- The guys from Sehjma's hometown are scumbags.
- Sehjma and her friends are totally naive.
- Sehjma and her (married) friends were going to drunkenly hook up with guys they went to high school with.
I mean, yes, those two guys he overheard are definitely scumbags, but there were lots of other people there that weren't. I don't have any desire to go back and cultivate friendships with those people, but I don't think they're all terrible.
I feel totally helpless when he tells this story. If I try to argue back ("There were LOTS of people that went to the after party, not just us and those guys!") I look really defensive, and I feel like it makes me look worse. If I don't say anything, I feel like everyone is getting the wrong impression.
My mom just got into town yesterday, and we went to my Aunt's for dinner, and of course, he told the story. I don't know my aunt super well, and I was HORRIFIED that he told it in front of her. She's very religious, doesn't drink, etc. I wasn't wild about him telling it to my mom, but she knows me and my friends very well, so I know this story won't change her opinion of me.
I thought I discussed it with him back in February when his sister was in town and he told it in front of his dad, stepmom, sister, and her fiance, but maybe it didn't get through? Or maybe I just planned out what I was going to say in my head, but never actually told him?
I'm definitely planning on talking to him tonight (or soon, it's hard since my mom and stepdad are staying with us).
So, GTer, have you had similar experiences? Have you had to make certain stories or topics "off limits?"