1. I love Amazon Prime. LOVE it. I've used it for years. It's great. 2-day shipping on so much stuff! Super useful when I didn't have a car—I'd order essentials, and instead of lugging it on a city bus, it showed up at my door 2 days later. I have moved into a house with a PO Box, and I want to set the PO Box on fire.

I've lived here for 8 months now. I've ordered things via Prime in that time, and both UPS and FedEx have found their way down the dirt-road-off-of-a-dirt-road to the dead end that leads to my house. I trust them. I like them. I set things I order via Prime to deliver this way, because I know they know where I am. But recently, something changed.

UPS SurePost was invented. And THAT's what I want to set on fire.

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UPS SurePost is where UPS picks up the package from the place that I ordered it from, and then brings it to the post office of the zip code of the address on the box. This is my problem. My PO Box and street address are in different zip codes.

I know UPS can find my house. I've seen them do it. I am told that things shipping 2-day travel with proper tracking numbers, from either UPS or FedEx. UPS doesn't deliver to PO Boxes. If I enter my PO Box #, it usually won't go through. Right now, I have 3 packages lost in the mail, on their way (or soon-to-be on their way) back to Amazon. I will reorder them, when my money's been refunded, and send them to the street address of the correct post office. I should receive my packages a week after they were due to me.

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Two days ago, I emailed Amazon, trying to set instructions to never mail things via the USPS. I got an extensive response, thanking me for my info, that it was forwarded to the right people, and there's really no way to do that, but here's a $20 credit toward my next Prime purchase. (I already spent that one on Season 6 of Sons of Anarchy, since it took so long to be free-streaming, I'm now 2 seasons behind, so sincerely Thanks, Amazon!) Most of the extensive email was instructing me on how to redeem my credit. It was pretty unnecessary.

So today I chatted with someone in customer service. I cursed at her several times over the course of the conversation, saying things like, "well, that doesn't fucking help me at all," and "that seems like a lot of hassle for me to get a damn candle, a week late." She threatened to end the chat. I explained to her that I was choosing these words to express my frustration at the situation, though I thought she wasn't understanding that. She suggested that we talk on the phone, that that would be easier. I told her no, she'd hang up on me quite quickly.

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So we continued trying to figure out how to leave proper feedback for this situation. I had mentioned something about another step, where we would have "shipping approval" to check boxes that we found acceptable options for the packages. She insisted that was not possible. I told her that I thought we were leaving feedback; this is my suggestion for the suggestion box. She quieted down asked what the specific problem I was facing was. After rolling my eyes that she didn't know it already, since I'd spelled it out to her twice in this conversation, I typed it out again: My UPS address and my USPS addresses are different, and in no way linked, and I need to be able to tell the shipping department this. I need to be able to specify which address I am using.

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I hate the post office. I hate its limited hours—I work at varying times, and often I am at work—far away—when that post office is open. My important packages could be there for weeks before I'm able to pick them up during open business hours. (They also close for an hour and a half in the middle of the day, so there's really no way to pick anything up on a lunch break.) I hate the OTHER post office even MORE. The most unhelpful, hateful people I've ever come across. When I told the lady at the window that I'd gone online and filled out the forwarding paperwork, she calmly folded her hands and said, "No you didn't." Fuck YES. I. DID. I told her she had a line and I didn't have time to get in a fight with her about what I did or didn't do, but thank you for telling me that you don't think it's on file. I swear, the post office for my street address makes the DMV look like the Apple Store.

And just before Christmas, there was a Carbon Monoxide problem at the post office where my box is. The heater wasn't venting properly, to the outside, and people were getting sick. So the health dept was called in, and the post office was closed for a week. Initially, it was closed for one day. Then the next day, it was closed, too. Then the next day, it was closed, too, and so on. And so on. I was unable to get my mail or packages for a week. Some things were taken back to the other post office with the unhelpful people. Not my packages. I checked three times, and finally they told me it was open and everything was back at my post office. I received my sister-in-law's gift on Christmas Eve, and had one hour to wrap it, before she unwrapped it. Talk about feeling ridiculous.

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Plus, today I went to the DMV to finally change my driver's license, since I changed states. I brought my two pieces of mail with me. I was turned away because they were both addressed to the PO Box, and neither mentioned the street address anywhere.

I went out to my car and cried over that fucking PO Box that is ruining everything that is perfect for everyone else. Can I just set one PO Box on fire? Just one, in a bank of boxes?

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Has anyone else experienced this from UPS lately? I don't know who to blame—Amazon or UPS, or the idiots at the local post offices. I talked this out with Amazon, twice, and I'll be contacting UPS shortly, probably in an email with the heading "UPS SurePost: What Is This Fuckery????" I'd love to know if I'm alone here in my frustrations. I probably am, because probably none of you have this pain-in-the-ass address setup.