Pardon the incoherent rant...

So after spending the last year fighting cancer and slowly recovering, I thought things were about to get way better. My old employer offered me a job and I accepted it. I had been a bit on the fence, because it required moving back to rural Alaska, which I was a little unsure about. However, I made up my mind to just do it.

I called my oncologist yesterday and left a message, asking if I could make an adjustment to my pill regimen. I mentioned that I was moving back to AK in a few weeks and would need copies of my most recent medical records. This morning I got a call from her nurse who said she had major concerns about my going back. Apparently, only a gynecologic oncologist can do my checkup, which involve internal and external exams. There is only one gynecologic oncologist in Alaska and she doesn't accept my insurance. That means I would have to fly to Seattle every three months for a half hour checkup. My insurance will not reimburse the travel. So now it looks like I will have to turn down the job. I had already told everyone I was going back. My friends there have been bending over backwards to help me find housing and a car. And now I'm completely fucked. I had been expecting this job and have no backup plan except to move to NY and look for work there.

In conclusion, fuck you cancer, thank you for ruining my life just a little more. If I was a betting woman, my next bet would be that my next checkup shows a recurrence, just so you can keep on destroying my life. Fuck.