ATTENTION GROUPTHINK: Burt has been kidnapped. By lizard people. I repeat: BURT IS IN THE HANDS OF THE LIZARD PEOPLE.
Before her untimely departure, she was able to get me the following message: CONTINUE FUCKIT FRIDAY WITHOUT ME, MY FRIEND. Also: the cure for your mild hangover is intentional next-day vomiting and Tylenol. Continue to FIF without meeeeeeeeeeeee.
So here we are.
It's sort of new. It's sort of old? It's a little awkward, because I'm a lotta things, but I'm not Burt. AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO THAT? I say: FUCK IT, IT'S FRIDAY.
SO FUCK IT. FUCK THAT MILD HANGOVER I TOTALLY DIDN'T DRINK ENOUGH TO DESERVE. LET'S POUR ONE OUT FOR BURT WHILE I TELL YOU A WEIRD STORY.
I WAS WALKING TO CAMPUS AND I PASSED A GENTLEMAN WITH A DUCK DYNASTY BEARD, RIDING ATOP A VERY LARGE JOHN DEERE TRACTOR. HE LOOKED ME SQUARE IN THE EYES AND, APPROPOS OF .... NOTHING? SOMETHING? NAY - EVERYTHING - THE DUCK DYNASTY MAN SAID TO ME:
"FUCK THE POLICE!"
THERE IS NO BETTER SENTIMENT FOR A FRIDAY MORNING HANGOVER. LET THE FUCK IT FRIDAY COMMENCE!