OHHHHHHH SHIT, YA'LL.

SOMEBODY SOUND THE ALARM. ALERT THE CAPTAIN. MAN THE LIFEBOATS. BECAUSE THIS SHIT JUST GOT COMMANDEERED.

THAT PHOTO WASN'T AS DRAMATIC AS I WANTED IT TO BE.

MAYBE YOUR DICKWIPE OF A BOSS MADE YOU COME IN TO WORK TODAY. MAYBE FUCKING MACY'S WOULDN'T TAKE BACK THAT GODAWFUL TANGERINE ORANGE CLUTCH YOU GOT FOR CHRISTMAS (WHAT THE FUCK WAS KAREN THINKING WHEN SHE BOUGHT YOU THAT SHIT, SHE'S KNOWS YOU'RE A WINTER!) MAYBE YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING. REGARDLESS, IT'S HERE AND IT'S BEER, SO GET USED TO IT. FUCK IT FRIDAY, TUESDAY EDITION. END OF 2013.

WHAT, ON THIS LAST DAY OF 2013, THAT ANAL FISSURE OF A YEAR, ARE YOU SAYING FUCK IT TO? WHETHER IT'S A FUCK IT FOR TODAY, FUCK IT THIS PAST WEEK, OR FUCK IT FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING MOTHERFUCK OF A YEAR, THAT DON'T MATTER. SPILL IT HERE, SPILL IT NOW TO MAKE ROOM FOR ALL THE VODKA THAT'S COMING LATER.

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ALTERNATELY, WANT DO YOU WANT TO SAY "FUCK YEAH" TO IN 2014?