I love her, I do, but she is very competitive and passive aggressive. Normally she reserves her cruelty for the men she dates—she likes to break their hearts and stomp all over them—but sometimes she lashes out at me, particularly when she is jealous of me.
Recently, I made spring break plans to go with another friend to Florida. My roommate was somewhat jealous but she hadn't made plans with me for spring break and since I'm a senior in college, I wanted to do something special. She told me she was glad I was going and I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
The thing with passive aggressive people is they claim they're happy and then they act out in little batshit, immature ways and feign innocence.
Anyway, my roommate promised me she would wake me up in time for this annual celebration thing at our college—it's very early in the morning and I'm bad at mornings—and I trusted her. She has woken me up for other things, like exams. I told her how much I wanted to go since I hadn't done it before and this was my last year. She promised we would go together with our friends.
Lo and behold, I wake up at 10:30, four hours too late. I call her to ask WTF happened and she says:
"Well, yesterday you seemed ambivalent about even coming because you said you had lots to do before Miami, and I wouldn't just go Into your room and shake you unless you explicitly asked me to."
First of all, I wasn't ambivalent. Secondly, my roommate is anything but shy. She is one of the most determined people I know—like, president of her debate team, super aggressive bargainer—and if she wanted to wake me up, she would have. Also she has gone into my room without my permission before. We've lived together for three years—for reasons that are no longer clear—and we are pretty casual at this point, e.g., not wearing pants in front of each other.
So I'm sad I missed the event and I'll never get another chance to do it. I'm mad my roommate refuses to apologize (she's so stubborn that she never will). I'm also really hurt because normally she's mean to me when men are involved—e.g., choosing to stay out clubbing with her fuck buddy when I told her I was having triggering thoughts and tempted to cut myself, bringing over a man less than an hour after I broke up with my boyfriend in our room even though I cried and asked her not to, using my nickname for a different ex after she aggressively befriended him—but this time she didn't get anything out of it. All she got was depriving me. That is really unsettling and makes it hurt all the more.
I have to live with this person for two ore months. Do I "get over it" for the sake of the time? Right now I'm so mad I want to get revenge. Well, at least silent treatment. This girl can be so conniving that I'm scared to see her escalate.
I know I probably sound super overdramatic but I think this is also just the final straw after years of shitty behavior. Sometimes she can be a great Roomate and quite supportive but when she doesn't want to be, it's the worst.
Suggestions for revenge? Suggestions for mature ways to resolve the situation (boo! Revenge!)? Roommate horror stories to make me feel better? All are appreciated Hivemind.