Fuck you. Fuck the horse you rode in on. Fuck its stable. Fuck the blacksmith who shoed it. Fuck your haircut. Fuck your old lady style. Fuck the disapproving looks you used to give me that said, "You're too fat and ugly to live." Fuck the disapproving looks you give me now that say, "Aren't you a bit above yourself, bitch? You can't just lose weight and wear make-up and think I'll forget that you're fat and ugly. Besides, you're really still pretty fat and definitely still ugly. You're still so ugly that you're going to be alone and unloved until you die and you deserve it." Fuck you for always making me feel unwanted, unwelcome, disrespected, and not worthy of respect.

Fuck that you always make me cry.

Fuck that every one says, "Oh, that's just her way." Fuck that. Your "way" is disgusting. Your "way" is childish. Your "way" is disrespectful. Your "way" is rude. Your "way" is cruel. Fuck your "way." You shouldn't get a free pass to be an asshole simply because you've been around longer than I have.


Fuck everyone who gives you that free pass. Fuck everyone who is afraid to stand up to you and call you out on your bullshit because they don't want to make waves. Their refusal to make waves just lets you continue to wield your nasty power over everyone around you and throw tantrums when you don't get your own way. Their refusal to make waves means that you don't have to grow the fuck up. And you need to grow the fuck up.


I'm done with you. I'm done with your bullshit. I'm not backing down anymore. I can't. It may cost me my job, and that terrifies me, but I can't work effectively with you undermining me at every turn anyway.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not pretty. I'm sorry I'm not male. I'm sorry I'm not the person you wanted. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but the bottom line is that all of the things you make me feel the need to be sorry for are things I can't change. I'm never going to be pretty. I'm never going to be male. I'm never going to be a different, already existing person. Your continued disrespect of me because of these things that I cannot change, and without making any attempt to find more substantial reasons to hate me is childish and stupid. If you hated me for a reason, we could talk about it. But you don't. So I'm done trying to be polite.


Fuck you.