Fuck the fact that one of you cracked right open when I put you in the pot at the start.

Fuck the fact that after dutifully cracking each egg, The Cardinal collided into me and dropped two of them on the floor, where they promptly exploded because we both like them soft-boiled.

Fuck the fact that we messed up the cracking of the two good eggs and lost 25% of each egg in the process.

Fuck the fact that when I went back to re-boil the eggs, they didn't boil properly and the first one fell apart when I cracked it.

Fuck this last egg that will probably be fucked, too.

Six eggs have been used to make 75% of one good egg.

Eggs are a scam. Fuck 'em.