Welcome To The Bitchery

Fuck your goddamn shitty sense of entitlement.

Fuck your belief that you should be allowed to cycle the wrong way down a sidewalk (because roads are too scawwy for you).


Fuck your shitty little bell that you ring when you want me to get out of your way on a shared pathway because you can't be bothered to scoot your bike over two inches.

Fuck the outrage you feel the need to express if I so much as briefly pass through a bike lane to cross the road.

Fuck the fact that you think you shouldn't have to wear a helmet, but the government should continue pouring money into bike lanes for your safety.

Fuck you for always blasting through pedestrian crosswalks and flipping me off when I yell at you.


Fuck the cyclists who say bikes aren't as dangerous as cars. I saw a man on a bicycle hit and kill a woman getting off a bus because he chose to cycle the wrong way down a sidewalk. Fuck him and fuck you for telling me that it's "anecdotal" and you'd totally never do that.

And, most of all, fuck you for ruining the image of cyclists for all of my pro-cycling friends who wear helmets, bike on the road and don't flip off pedestrians when they have the right of way.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter