I need to write this here so I don't write a nasty obscenity -laden message to a real estate agent. I've lived a lot of places but I guess I've never really lived in a big city where the rental market was this tight, but I have been dealing with having my apartment shown almost every day and it's driving me out of my mind. I hate it. hate. hate. hate it.

I hate having strangers in my home. My work puts me in front of people and my home is where I go to get away from that. That's not the part that's stressing me out the most. Right now, I'm busy performing two shows a day and literally getting ready to get my show on the road. I'm leaving for almost two months of traveling (maybe more), I'm desperately rushing to get the show polished up, build some new props and put in some new tricks while at the same time I'm getting ready to move out of this apartment. On top of that, as some of you know I've recently had surgery and my new vagina needs to be dilated 3 times a day. Trying to find the time to pack, work on the show, go out and do shows, make sure that the apartment is more or less clean and that my dilation kit is hidden (which makes me feel like a fucking criminal) is driving me out of my mind.

Last week one of the realtors was 20mins late so I thought he had already shown the apartment by the time I got back from breakfast, I was lubed up with the dilator in my vagina when the shithead knocked on the door—needless to say I was furious. Today I got yet another request for a viewing tomorrow. I have a costume fitting in the morning, shows in the afternoon and I leave for my first out-of-town gig on Friday (after that I'll be back for a total twice for two days before I leave for good) so I asked if she could push it back until I go to work. She replied: we gave you 24hours.