Please don't mainpage. Please. I'm not trying to start some epic dialogue, I just want to vent to GT.

It has been the week of stupid, and I've been thinking about this shit. How much of it we, as women (especially ones from large cities) just brush the fuck off like it's nothing.

Let's start with the lovely gentleman, Ivan, who reeked of whiskey at 11 am on Tuesday on a Brooklyn bound train. Who was old enough to be my father. Who leaned in way too fucking close to tell me he liked my tattoo. Yeah, thanks. Who just kept talking to me. Darlin, it's 11 am. I'm tired, I'm hot. I'm in business casual clothing so I'm uncomfortable. I just had to trek to Manhattan for a journalism class assignment that fell through and now I have to go back to Brooklyn. I just want to listen to my music. And you feel the motherfucker staring at you, sitting right next to you, and in .3 seconds you gotta decide "sit and ignore, walk away, or acknowledge. What will be the least possible cause of my death if he gets angry." And this dude just keeps talking, and everyone on the fuckin train sees you're uncomfortable and just watches. Yeah, glad ya'll are amused. Then he asks for your number. You say no. He asks again. "I have a boyfriend." "We can be friends." Won't give up. Alright, he's getting closer. And louder. Did he just touch my arm? Time to get off the train. Will he follow me? Fuck it, I'm getting off the train. Move to another train car, and wait the whole time for this upstanding man to follow you there. He doesn't.

Or the man who made kissy noises at me from his car when I was just trying to have coffee and a cigarette before class. Or the dude who followed me into a store to ask for my number. *Blank stare* "No." "Oh. Can I have a dollar?" "Uh, yeah." *hands over dollar*

Fucking....GO AWAY. Leave me alone. For the sake of god just leave me the fuck alone. Leave all of us alone. Please. I don't want to fight anymore, man. I'm tired.

But you still WANT to say something, you know? At least I do. I always want to scream GO THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME. But you see enough stories of that ending horribly. And hell, if your boyfriend at 17 didn't respond positively to you saying "stop grabbing my ass in public," why should some strange dude? Is he gonna scream at me? I've been screamed at. It's not fun. Is he going to grab me? That's happened, too. Will he hurt me? Kill me? I don't know. I don't want to know.

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Just let me be. Please.

Thanks, GT. Just wanted to write that all out. I'm gonna have a beer.