My dog often gets mistaken for a girl, and I know it’s only because he is small (and admittedly very dainty). It’s always people with big dogs who think he’s a girl, too. Like...you know small dogs have to reproduce the same way as big dogs, right? Right??

You can see his ting-ting. And if anyone ever needed a closer look, I am sure he would be happy to oblige.

I mean, okay. Sometimes I put him in dresses. And he’s tall and skinny like a canine Kendall Jenner. But when we’re just hanging out at the coffee shop and he’s just wearing his harness and leash, you have no reason to assume he is a girl.

Jerks.