I am the first to admit that I know absolutely nothing about gardening. Every year I plan on reading a book and learning more about it, but I never do. I stick to my "let's just plant some shit and see what happens!" strategy.

This is my fourth year having a garden and the strategy has been working pretty well. I just go to the farmer's market in the spring, pick out a bunch of random plants, put them in my raised beds, and see what happens. I have three boxes. This year one has kale, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, chard, and some hot peppers for Mr. Peachy. The other is ALL tomatoes. There are so many tomatoes! They grew super tall this year and despite using those cage things, some have fallen over and they are all tangled up and it's basically a tomato jungle. I definitely think I overcrowded the box a bit, but oh well, it works.

The last garden box is what I'm here to talk about today. In it there is one zucchini plant and one butternut squash. I've never tried butternut squash before, but I've done zucchini each year. It usually gets pretty big, but takes up just half a box or so. It usually ends up expanding out of the box a little, but not much. This year? THESE PLANTS HAVE GONE FUCKING CRAZY.


The zucchini is basically taking up the entire box, has latched onto some of the falling over tomato plants from the box next door. The butternut squash has grown up into the apple tree behind the box. THERE IS BUTTERNUT SQUASH GROWING FROM MY APPLE TREE. There are currently 3 squashes in there that I can see, plus some more blossoms.

This is the biggest one, hanging from a lower branch of the tree:

Then there are two smaller ones that you can't really see in this picture, but are about 10 feet above the ground:


If you don't know, squash plants send out these crazy little tendrils that wrap around things, which is how they climb mother fucking trees:


And to top it all off, I have an old watermelon crate that I use for compost. Today I discovered that a rotting squash I threw into it at some point is now growing into another squash plant:


AND that's not all. Apparently a squirrel dragged something out of the compost that involved squash seeds because there is another mysterious squash plant growing a few feet away in a small section of grass that doesn't ever get mowed.

Please marvel at the craziness of my garden with me, because I told Mr. Peachy about all this and he just shrugged.