Did I stumble on the Nigerian version of the Onion, or is this article for real? I can't tell. If it is real, it is the most ridiculous thing I have maybe ever read. Fair warning: this article had me laughing out loud, but if you are offended by over-the-top stupidity and intolerance, you should probably avoid this one.

Basically what it boils down to is that a University of Lagos post graduate student, Chibuihem Amalaha, "proved gay marriage wrong" by demonstrating that opposite poles of magnets attract. Good thing he came along to tell us about magnets, because I've just been smashing the north poles of my magnets into each other for years trying to get them to stick. Who knew I just had to turn one of them around?? Also, acids only react with bases and not other acids. PLUS, this guy has never seen animals having sex with animals of the same sex. AND, when a man sees an attractive lady, something hypothalamus, random words that sound sciencey. In other words, gays shouldn't exist (and possibly do not exist?), Q.E.D.

If you're wondering about this guy's credentials, don't. His professor told him he'll probably win the Nobel prize for this groundbreaking research. He's a world-class scientist. In the past, he even proved that pi is NOT the rational number 22/7, but is in fact a transcendental number. Look out, this guy's the next Archimedes!

I would like to sum up in Mr. Amalaha's own words:

In A + B, A started the journey while in B + A, B started the journey. If we use A as a man and use B as a woman we are going to have B + A that is woman and man showing that there is a reaction. A + B reacted, they interchanged and gave us B + A showing that commutativity obeys that a man should not marry a man and a woman should not marry a woman. If you use idempotency, it’s a reaction in mathematics where A + A = A. Actually in abstract algebra, A + A =2A but we are less concerned with the numerical value two. We are more less concerned with the symbols A, you find out that A + A will give you A showing that the whole thing goes unchanged. It didn’t change unlike commutativity A + B give B + A there is a change. A started the journey in commutativity and A + B gave us B + A and B started the journey after the equality sign. But in the case of idempotency A + A will give you A showing that it goes unreacted. You started with A and you meet A ,the final result is A. Showing that a man meeting a man A + A will produce a man there is no reaction, it goes unreacted and in chemical engineering you have to send the material back to the reactor for the action to be carried out again showing that it goes unreacted. That is how mathematics has shown that gay marriage is wrong because commutativity proves that gay marriage is wrong. Idempotency also proves that gay marriage is wrong. So these are the principles I have used to prove gay marriage wrong in physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics and by the grace of God I am the only one that has proved this in the whole world.


If that doesn't make the whole issue crystal clear, I don't know what does.