It's getting a bit repetitious over here. Here are some of the things I tell myself:

It is what it is.

This is my mantra. It has never failed me, not from the moment that it popped into my head when I was 15 and wondering why my mom was going to die of cancer. Sometimes, I fail it and fail at grasping the fullness of its meaning even as I say it.

I am a punctual and pleasant professional.

This is what I keep reminding myself for this evening's shoot— interviews at a trade show. Maybe it was stupid to take a gig a week later, but dude, the bills don't wait, even though the company disbursing what little assets my brother had will wait happily. I do actually need to work, and the fact that I don't have the attention span to apply to jobs like I normally do should hopefully even things out without getting my lights turned off or something.

This is stupid. All of this is stupid.

This is something everyone's said periodically all month. I think what we mean is that what my brother did was stupid and the rest of this is stupid as a net result. This statement is not allowed to become my new mantra.

I need drugs for this.

This is a thing that my sister says and I don't disagree with her. But the problem is, as I tell her:

They don't make drugs for dealing with this shit, so we should hope we can eventually actually deal.