This post is actually free of anything more upsetting than the general situation.
So, since my full name is pretty readily available attached to this handle (y'all know what Twitter is), and since the newspaper and the funeral home have it both online, I'm not actually giving anything away by linking it here that you won't find with 12 seconds and Google. Even though we're naming a few names right now.
So here he is, GT, my beautiful little brother. I used the obit from the funeral home because the picture is better and I wanted you to see his silly tough guy non-smile without looking like it had been scanned from the damn newspaper.
I remember the day Dan was born vividly. I was four and my parents had pushed me outside to wait for my grandmother and uncle in a hurry. I think my mom's water had just broken, because the last words I heard as I walked down the steps to stand in our gravel driveway were my mother screaming, "Goddammit, Bill! Will you get a fucking towel?"
There was a lot more screaming after that, but then my grandmother's car pulled up and I was out of there mentally before physically. They'd done a good job of explaining the plan beforehand (including the part where I'd wait outside. Miss my parents, they were both BAMFs in their own way. Miss them a lot more going through this shit.) and I'd seen enough cinematic depictions of childbirth to know that there would be screaming and I wanted to be somewhere else.
I looked at the first picture of me holding him today. I cried so much I was afraid I'd ruin the print. And I don't know if anyone has the negative, so I put it away instead of scanning it for you guys like I meant to. I can't believe I have to lay him to rest on Monday, you guys. Depression doesn't just lie. It fucking steals.
I also have ulterior motives for sharing the real obit with you guys, and I guarantee this is going to get your dander up— I think Facebook has been censoring the posts with the funeral information out of a portion of our friends' news feeds. This completely horrifies me. Didn't they supposedly stop doing this? I'd suggested this exact thing as a joke to The Nerdy Mr (not fair to give away his name, he's not listed, so do your own research, dammit.) and then late last night (and the reason I haven't slept well), my sister and I started to get some messages from people who are generally pretty active liker's and commenters on our statuses (stati? Sorry, I love that joke.).
"Hey, just saw your status from this morning." "What's up with Dan?" "Is Dan okay?"
And when we'd give the short version.
"How the FUCK did I miss that?" "Why didn't it show up in my feed?"
So much for using Facebook as a platform to disseminate that kind of information. Except my brother has friends where that's all the contact information we have. So, here is the HUGE favor I have to ask of you, GT:
If you are local to: Park Ridge, Morristown, Chatham, or if you know someone from there, hell, if you recognize the names of the towns from anything but my grief entries, please, please share one of the two obit links on his page, or copy the link from in here and post it via some kind of social media where other people can see it. Things are happening tomorrow and I am soooo afraid that he has friends that haven't been informed or don't have the information for the services.
I am so sad and angry. Sangry. I am sangry that people may be missing out on the chance to pay their respects because Facebook might be culling all my "negative" posts.