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Getting offended on behalf of a minority group

It always weirds me out a little when cis people get rage offended on behalf of trans people. I mean, if I had to pick between two options on how I could be treated by cis folks, I'd rather they get upset on my behalf than have them call me faggot and beat me up. However, I get a little uneasy when I hear something like: you don't know what trans people go through, because most of the time, the person saying that doesn't know either.

I have had fucked up things said and done to me over the course of my transition, but everyone experiences oppression differently. Honestly, my career has probably been set back about five years from where it would be if I were cis person with a similar background (that's why things are really shitty for poor trans women of color because if you set someone who doesn't have much in the way of opportunity to begin with, their lives basically become impossible) but, for the most part I lead a very dynamic life. I don't need people to get to get seriously indignant over fairly minor slights or things that are shitty but not necessarily mean-spirited (like the thing with Jennifer Lawrence cat. some people were also pretty offended by this video, but I thought it was really funny) on my behalf.


I can see calling something out, saying like: "hey, that might be offensive" but getting super worked up about it makes me feel a weird. It feels appropriative and like it robs me of agency. I'm not a defenseless, severely handicapped person who needs people to be outraged on for me (I also have very mixed feeling about the way white middle class trans folks get sometimes talk about TDOR but my friend Alyssa says it better than I can here)

Maybe it's just because I'm not easily offended by ignorance. I've personally been reading up on trans issues since I was like 12 or 13 but I get that not everyone has. I get that people don't understand things that are completely out of their realm of experience. I'd rather that cis people focus on educating people and working on the broader issues, than getting themselves into a rage over silly offhand things people say (however it is perfectly acceptable to get your rage on over things like people purposely misgendering trans folks and anything "Doctor" Keith Ablow says).

I'm curious about how people of color or members of other minority groups feel about this subject. Do you feel like it's worth getting worked up over little things? How do you feel about well intentioned white folks getting upset on your behalf (the way some people got really upset over the You Can Touch My Hair event in NY)?

ETA: I can't really participate in this discussion because I have to run to work, but I'm curious I'm really interested to read what you guys have to say.

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