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Welcome To The Bitchery

GF: Father BF wrote a new song

To the tune of Papa Don't Preach

BF: Papa Don't Eat

I Want To Eat Your Plate

Papa Don't Drink

I Want to Drink Your Hotcoco

Papa Don't Eat

I Want to Lick Your Pla Ate.

I Am The Only One

Me: You just mangled completely one of the best Madonna songs ever. Also its "I am Not The Only One"


GF: That makes sense I want to eat some of his food too.

BF: Stay cool daddio I have improved a classic

Me: No, no you didn't. Also who says daddio? This isn't the 50s and 60s.

BF: I heard it said on that glass screen by a skinny guy where he and his friends eat and drink from coconuts.


Me: That show is almost 50 years old.

GF: Thats crazy talk I just saw him yesterday.

Me: Sigh.

BF: I feel like coconut milk.

GF: Me too. Too much food talk.


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