Now he's on a tear about STDs and whether or not the other dude I'm seeing is super up-to-date on them.
I went ahead and told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. He was actually really good about that. Disappointed, but said it took a lot of courage for me to be honest. Thanks for not being one of those people who said something and didn't hide my true feelings and all that jazz. I'm glad I did it. I'm very very relieved. Honesty is the best policy, people.
I did tell him I was seeing someone else. He asked before I got a chance to disclose it myself. Then he immediately started asking about STDs which I think is totally reasonable. I hadn't asked Other Dude to get a test because we were using condoms (should I have asked? I wasn't planning on it unless he asked for unprotected sex. Neither of us have given each other unprotected oral sex. We've just done P-in-V with condoms) so I texted him to ask. Other Dude said he'd had one about a year ago and he was clean. I tell Ginger Beard this and he is not pleased.
Beardo says, "You should get them at the start of every relationship." Now he's asking me to ask Other Dude to get a new test done and about the other chicks Other Dude has been with and whether or not they've had STD tests.
Isn't this kind of thing only necessary if there is a problem i.e. you've noticed some burning pee? Have you guys asked about the STD status of all of your partner's other partners? Is he being paranoid or am I being flippant or both? I haven't had a ton of experience with getting STD tests. The first one I got when I was a teenager and went to see my gyno. The second one was last week after Ginger Beard asked. I feel like I'm being super irresponsible by not asking for the STD tests.
I asked Other Dude about getting a new test done. Other Dude says he thinks it isn't necessary if we aren't having unprotected sex. Great. I've got one who might be taking out his disappointment on me by grilling me about STDs and one who thinks a year-old STD test is ok as long as we're using condoms. I told Ginger Beard what Other Guy said. Ginger Beard: "That's probably true [sex with condoms doesn't necessitate STD testing], but probably doesn't equal certainty. There's no reason they should be turning down your request. I'd think carefully about being with someone if they say no to getting tested. Ultimately it's up to you, and I hope you'll err on the side of caution. Taking risks with your health isn't worth it."
I think Ginger Beard is right about there being no reason for Other Guy to turn down the request. But now I'm thinking I don't want to bother with either of them anymore. Ginger Beard for being kinda patronizing and Other Guy for thinking a new STD test isn't necessary.