Yeah, so I need to do the Christmas shopping thing soon and I have NO clue what to get anyone. I absolutely suck at picking out gifts for people.

I'm also broke as fuck this year so the only people getting gifts are my mom, sister, grandma, brother-in-law and Consort Fluffybutt. And they gotta be cheap. So let's say around $30 maximum.

I also keep asking people what they want and everyone's like "oh I'm sure I'll love whatever you get me!" No, no you won't. Cuz I suck at this.

So, help me think of gifts for this gang of misfits. Some details about everyone on the list:

Queen Fluffybutt - in her 50s. Smoker. Doesn't drink much, but her drink of choice is gin & tonic when she does drink. Likes older shows like Matlock and Andy Griffith. Loves the original Star Trek. Superman over Batman. Likes manicures, but gets her nails done and doesn't do them herself. Doesn't wear much makeup and has sensitive skin, so no beauty products. Loves comfy things (robes, slippers, fuzzy pajamas, etc). Loves chocolate truffles.

Princess Fluffybutt I (my sister) - 33, married, pickiest eater I know. A Medievalist. Doesn't cook. Plays Dungeons & Dragons. Not into video games. Loves the Renaissance Faire. Doesn't work out (so no gym things). Likes spicy food, addicted to subscription boxes. Loves animals, especially dogs and rodents. Loves musicals. Hates children.

Advertisement

My brother-in-law - Owns a CrossFit gym, is a personal trainer, MMA fighter, etc. Health nut, basically. Smokes a lot of pot. Also loves the Ren Faire and D&D. Has a M.A. in American History. Eats everything but I'm 90% sure is doing Paleo right now. Also not a gamer. Also loves zee animals.

Grandma - old Jewish woman. Loves Maneschewitz (did I spell that right?) and chocolates. Sleeps in nightgowns. Misses my grandpa. Likes makeup, especially lipstick (red is her favorite). Could use something to make her feel pretty again/cheer her up.

Consort Fluffybutt - the nerd. My nerd. Video games all day erryday. Has ALL the consoles and just got a PS4. Picky eater. Drink of choice is scotch (usually Johnnie Walker Double Black). Loves horror movies. Is an IT guy so likes computer-related thingies. Loves the IT Crowd (the show). Smoker. Likes...pirates? If that's a thing. Likes The Big Bang Theory (bleh). Works for NASA. Has a glorious beard that he's proud of (as he should be).

Advertisement

Please, for the sake of baby Jesus, help me. If something's over $30 and just super awesome, then that's fine to suggest. Just nothing REALLY expensive. I can do up to like $50-60 if it's a super cool thing, but I'm trying to stay at $30 or less for each gift.

And if you need any more details about the peoplez, just ask!

THANKS GUISE <3

ETA: Important thing I forgot! NO jewelry! Mom and my sister are both severely allergic to metal, my BIL, Consort and Grandma don't wear any.