So, I had a consult to talk about my sky high anxiety and how it is destroying my ability to function at work. Doc thinks I am anxious and very depressed. Oddly, I would not have described myself as a depressed, but there you have it. What the fuck do I know? I tried to argue for some reason and she wasn’t having it. She is probably right. Pills were prescribed.

I just need to make it through the rest of this year without dissolving or fucking up at work. I am hanging on by a thread, but I think I will be good in 2019. My company shuts down between Christmas and New Year’s so I will get a real break. I am spending Christmas in the Caribbean so I want to feel well enough to enjoy it. My mom is getting some reconstruction soon for her scar from the face chomping my sister gave her - long story if you don’t know it*. I think things are going to wrap up nicely and then 2018 can go fuck itself. The world seems crazy on a micro and macro level. We all need anti-depressants and anti anxiety meds. And a new president...I digress. Wish me luck!!

*My sister bit a chunk of my mom’s face out for no appararent reason other than extreme mental illness. Ok, kind of a short, but awful story.