Did I miss the post where everyone gave their verdicts on the fashion at the Golden Globes? I'm not going to lie - there weren't that many I *loved*.
What the fuck was with all the greasy looking slicked back hair? Is this the 1990's? And was there a memo sent out saying people should be wearing no bras that day?
Being somewhat of a fashion expert (I have both penguin AND tartan pyjamas), even when the dress was sort of okay, there was so often an element of "ok, looks good, looks nice...HOLD UP. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT???".
The only consistently wondrous things were the shoes. OMG the shoes.
Let's start off with the good:
Helen Mirran, Emma Thompson, Drew Barrymore, Ariel Winter, Sophia Vergara, Julie Delpy, Julie Bowen, Cate Blanchett, Aubrey Plaza (amazing job with the shoes!), michelle dockery (the only high low hem gown I liked)
Now onto the "so close!!" category:
Zoe Saldana: I really want to like this, but just can't. She looks like a beautiful woman in a hideous dress.
Lena - I love the bright colour on her, and the contrasting nails. I think the dress would have been more flattering if the flare had started a little higher. But jesus Lena, your posture. She has the posture of a slouching teenage boy.
* Kerry Washington - I know that going to these things when you're pregnant must be super fucking hard to go to these glitzy things when all you want to do is lie on the sofa and eat gherkins. But this dress is just...kind of like she really didn't want to go, and one of her minions forced her into the first thing they could find suitable for a pregnancy bump.
* Caitlin Fitzgerald - SHOE ENVY. This dress could have been so beautiful, had the top half been different. It looks like someone made a ballgown then thought "actually it's a bit cold" so swapped the top half with a woolly jumper.
* Zooey Deschanel - Speaking of adding jumpers, we have this look. The dress is ethereal, the shoes are awesome! But was matching a jumper to the shoes really necessary? It looks like she put on a gorgeous dress and then thought "woah I'm a bit self conscious. Pass me that studded cropped jumper".
* Taylor Swift: Firstly - bright red lipstick with a salmon pink dress. ouch. Secondly, this dress was so nearly perfect. But you know the one thing that is guaranteed to make you look even more flat chested if you are not well endowed in the boob department? Having a band of dark colour running exclusively across your boobs. In a strapless dress. I know this, because I am also not well endowed in the boob department. If the black had started at the waist I would have loved this!
The "WAT" category.
* Emma Watson - I don't care how cold you are, you don't wear coloured opaque tights with an evening gown. And the strange t shirt sleeves. And the posture.
* Paula Patton - I don't care if this dress is high fashion and cost more than a years worth of rent. It looks like she is being consumed by a giant slug.
* Sandra Bullock - The dress in itself is beautiful. Sandra Bullock is beautiful. But the two do not mix well. The dress does not flatter her chest in any way. I think something like this would be extremely difficult for women over 40 to wear, due to the cut at the chest.
* Bernice Bejo: What is this? Is it a shirt? Is it a blanket? Is it a bed sheet?
* Megan Mullally - Taking fashion inspiration from Fairy Tail
So what were your faves?? And your "BLARG" moments?!