Highlights include:

Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school phrases like, “Yes, Professor, It’ll be done by tomorrow”, “I’d love to rewrite” and “Why didn’t I just get a job, I could have been making $40,000 a year by now if I had just started working with a Bachelor’s. But noooooo, I chose to further my education, I wish somebody would drop a bomb on the school so that I’d have an excuse to stop working on my degree that’s sucking every last drop of life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for a soul…” (9V lithium batteries sold separately)

You can also buy Adjunct Barbie, who comes with a diploma and student loan payment plan. Cost: $100,000. Adjunct Barbie also comes with a rebate good for the amount of money she will make during her career. So in other words, Adjunct Barbie is screwed.