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graduate school related panic.

Illustration for article titled graduate school related panic.

OKAY SO. As part of my grad program I did a 100 hour "practicum" (I use that term very loosely) in my first year, and submitted my weekly hour logs to the supervisor of the course, who was supposed to hand them in to the practicum coordinator (who, as far as I can tell, doesn't actually do anything at all. He has been, and continues to be, beyond useless). I found out this year that I need to transfer those hours to a spreadsheet (pain in the ass, but okay, no problem), so I emailed the practicum coordinator to see if I could swing by and make photocopies. He said he didn't have my hours, the course supervisor must still have them.
I emailed the course supervisor. He said he doesn't have them either. "I assume you made photocopies or kept the originals?"
That would have been a very smart thing to do, but given that it was first year and I was extraordinarily naive about the program and its organization, I did not make copies.

…I have no record of the practicum and no record anywhere of how many hours I got, either in total or direct client hours. Apparently this could really hurt my PhD application (although I'll be honest and say that the idea of staying in this shitshow of a program for another four to six years after getting through this masters makes me want to tear all the skin off my face. Gross.)


I emailed both of them to ask them to double-check and am now in full-on panic mode. Having made it through two years of this nightmare I already know it's "my fault" for not having made copies (they're not great on accountability) and don't even have enough information to somewhat accurately make up information for the spreadsheet.

Also I am starting over entirely on my thesis, with a very friendly but significantly disengaged supervisor, and that terrifies me. I have a meeting with another professor on Wednesday to discuss methodology etc, and he's asked me to bring a one page synopsis of what I have so far (which is nothing. Anyone know anything about situational analysis?)


Also also I have a shit ton of schoolwork to do, also for Wednesday. I haven't done any of it and am still recovering from a righteous hangover (because I had to be quite drunk to tolerate a backstreet boys after party. In case you were wondering, Nick Carter is a pretty mediocre DJ. I relocated and danced my heart out at another club, and probably engaged in other questionable activities as I got a text from my cousin apologizing for "exposing me to things," but I can't remember that part of the night, so….cool? Whoops.)


So my present game plan is to get a bottle of wine and crochet while I start watching Hannibal (I've heard good things)….but I have no idea what to do with all this. Everything is overwhelming and scary and basically just makes me want to hide under the blanket I'm crocheting, but it's not quite big enough yet. I am paralyzed by anxiety. (Psychologist in training here. Really kicking ass.)


Any suggestions for how I go about navigating this clusterfuck? Stories on successfully navigating graduate school bureaucratic bullshit? Or maybe just some gifs? Gifs are good too.

For now, this is me:



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