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Great news, so why am I worried?

When I moved to a new state for a new job in November, I left my heart behind. For one reason after another (including an ill parent), Mexador was unable to join me in New State. But we just got word that his transfer was accepted and he’ll be moving down (with Dante) this week! I am no longer fiance-less and I can stop staring longingly at every dog I see!

So I should be ecstatic. And I am! I’ve been so lonely down here and I miss him in particular. But I’m also so worried. His mom is over her illness but there’s still a chance of surgery to deal with the remnant pain. She’s also not very emotionally strong and I’m wondering if she’s not a bit codependent on Mexador. She sobbed all night when he told her he got the transfer, even though she’s known for 7 months that he’d be following me as soon as he was able. Mexador is an only child and his parents don’t really have any other nearby family. He has the strongest sense of familial obligation I’ve ever seen, including putting off college and life to help his grandparents for several years before they passed, so he’s already feeling guilty for leaving his parents.

He’s also never really left his parents’ house. We tried to move in together last year, but the apartment didn’t allow dogs (we only moved in because our friend offered us her other room) and he is majorly dog dependent, so he was so miserable that he moved back to his parents’. But Dante is coming down, so he says that won’t be an issue. I’m terrified it’s going to happen again. I’m worried that between his depression and guilt, he’ll wind up hating it here and moving home.

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Any advice or assurances? Is this all just nerves about a big life change? Any resources on codependent parent-child relationships? Thank you for anything and everything in advance. 

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