Well, my coworker that I roundly complained about below has now been fired. So I am officially the worst. DON'T EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING GUYS OR TERRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN.
She was a work ally and I'll miss having that around, but I'm not very surprised and to be very honest from a business perspective this has been a long time coming but CHRIST. She was crying when she left and now she is sitting in her car crying too hard to drive and texting me things about how she begged our boss not to fire her. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Here is a nice little spacer paragraph because it is gross and I am terrified of doxxing...
My coworker just texted me to say that she thought she might have pink eye. I said, that sucks it's only 8am, urgent care won't be busy, go right this second and see if they think it is. That way you can still make it to work and not have to miss a day in case it's not pink eye but you're not coming into work if it is.
THEN SHE SENT ME A PICTURE OF HER EYE CLOSE UP I guess to see if I thought it might be pink eye? What the everliving fuck, I do not need to see a closeup picture of someones red weird eye this fucking early on a Friday morning. I am not easily grossed out but I am SO GROSSED OUT AT THIS RIGHT NOW. I wear contacts and am fine with eyes but c'mon.
I literally just responded "I am not a doctor and I will not fucking look at that, go to urgent care" (I didn't say fucking because I am a nice person).
Part of the reason that I didn't just say "Aww that sucks, just stay home it's Friday anyway and you had a rough day yesterday, take a personal day" which I would have said to almost anyone else is that it is only April and she has already blown through most of her personal and sick days and is constantly late or unable to come to work. It's kind of at the point where even for legit stuff people are giving her the side eye because it's so often and there's a good bit of stuff that is obviously not legit. For instance, from the brief glance I saw at the photo before I shut it the hell down and deleted it, her eye it self looked fine and it looked like the skin around it was red from someone rubbing it. It was one step away from holding a thermometer by the lightbulb.
On top of that my new coworker has started coming in super early every day, and it messes with my special alone time at work. I usually come in early and have a good half hour to an hour to get shit done without having to talk to anyone and now she is RIGHT THERE and she is eating her breakfast like she eats all of her meals, like a squirrel. She leans really close over her food and nibbles at it. It is so quiet here this morning that I can HEAR her eat and nibble it as well. Is it passive aggressive to just leave a fork on her desk?
tl;dr I hate everyone. And I planned an easter egg hunt this morning for these assholes!