This has been a pretty stressful week for me and maybe for some of you guys. Nothing makes me laugh like some of my past embarrassments and sharing them so I figured why not start a fun thread about some of our most mortifying moments!
Story 1: (have repeated before here but I have never seen a boss crying in laughter at what happened so I will repeat.) Checkers
It was a work day during the middle of the week and I took of to grab some lunch on this sunny day. I was feeling lazy and craved something warm and filling so I drove over to Boston Market and ordered but they were out of Diet Coke. Sacrilege! So I thought, ok no biggie, there's a Checkers next door where I can get my carbonated goodness made by the gods. I drive on over to Checkers - this was maybe around noonish and the lunch rush wasn't in effect yet so both Drive Thru's were empty. I was on my phone at this point deep in conversation with a friend about something very important like shampoo when, as I pulled around into their mini Drive Thru curvy road, I hear this lady screaming while eating a burger on one of their little outdoor lunch tables. I think I told my friend there's some crazypants person yelling - did not know it was at me. Now, I don't know if everyone has a Checkers where they are but they look like this:
I can't even excuse myself for it being my first time at a Checkers but I pull up to the window and order my Diet Coke, still on the phone. I look back up at the girls and they are cracking up at me. I end my very important conversation and glare at their rudeness until one of them says, "Um, ma'am. You're in the Drive - Thru backwards." What?! What are they TALKING about! I drove around the curvy road. "You have to go where it says, Enter, and order at the speaker box, ma'am."
Seconds pass as I stare at them and back at my steering wheel thinking, should I just demand the coke with no shame? No, I did not do that. I slunk back into my seat, and whispered, "oh" and slowly drove back around to the speaker box and ordered a Diet Coke. Sigh. Thank you, lady who screamed at me - you meant well.
I was asked to greet some pretty big people at an ambassador's residence once while living abroad. This was the Swedish ambassador and being half Swedish, I thought, I can DO THIS! Well thing is, I know maybe three sentences in Swedish and a handful of useful words everyone must know like: ice cream, 'do you have to pee?', and 'you have nice hair.' Thanks, Swedish parent for not teaching me! So the night falls and I'm standing in the doorway while other notable high ranking Swedish political figures enter and I say hello to each and every one of them in my best Swedish accent. Most of them smiled politely but some looked at me and smiled weirdly and one laughed. Do I have something on my face? No, I had been saying Good-bye instead of hello the ENTIRE. NIGHT. Hello is hej. I was saying hej då (Goodbye), which in my head was a fancier hello. I wasn't hired again.
I'm eight and at the world's most boring store - the local fabric shop - dragged along by Mom who would spend literally hours at. I made "friends" with the mannequins and would go around shaking their hands until one mannequin's hand fell off into mine. I thought some alarm would ring and I threw the mannequin hand across the store into whatever fabric it landed in, horrified. I ran to my Mom and faked beng sick because I was positive the police would arrive and handcuff me for destroying mannequin property.
Two weeks later we return, even after I begged not to go, and saw that handless mannequin behind the counter with yellow tape on it. I was sure the police had investigated and was on the lookout of this criminal. My eyes must have been wide as saucers as I stood frozen behind some dusty curtains. This was my Jamie Lannister moment when he got his chopped.
EDITED: Adult and childhood stories welcome!