And John Wm. Macy's Original Cheddar Sourdough Cheese Sticks have won the day.

The forces of Cheez-Its, Cheese Nips, Cheetohs and Cheezy-Poofs have fled the field in a rout.

I don't know who this "John Wm. Macy" is, or why "Wm." is apparently his middle name, but the man is clearly the primal prodigy of cheese snackage, the Mozart of delightful baked-cheese-bready goodness. He's a protean figure, the Steve Jobs of cheese-infused twisty-crispy snacks. Resistance is futile. Accept your cheesy overlord, or be consigned to the dustbin of cheesestory. In this dawn of a new cheese age, all other snacks are horse-drawn buggies to this cheesy Ferrari.

One day you'll thank me for this.