Alright guys, we're going to do this democracy-style.
I've done five auditions and three thousand miles in the last month. I am still unemployed and I am extra tired.
On the way to the Wednesday audition, I ate a baja chicken wrap that I bought at a gas station, because I was running late and didn't want to miss my warm-up time. To be fair, it was a very nice gas station, and a tasty chicken wrap.
To be unfair, I spent most of yesterday in the bathroom disposing of said baja chicken wrap. I seem to be on the up and up today as far as digestive systems go, but between the barfing, the stress, and the weird yoga challenge I've been doing around it, my neck/shoulder/jaw muscles are all spazzed out and it feels like I'm clenching my jaw.
I am not.
I don't want to drive ten and a half hours to Lexington, Kentucky today for a job that I won't win, and would have a difficult time taking if I did. This is supposed to be about gaining experience, though, and none of those are valid experience reasons. (My shrink says it's about the process, not the outcome. My brain went along with that for 3.5 of the auditions and is now like NO. WE WILL DO THIS THE MUSICIAN WAY.)
Edit: I forgot the part where Wednesday's audition was clearly rigged. I'm not usually one to spread sour grapes, but it was so, so, so, so rigged. So yesterday I was sick and a little disillusioned.
I'm uncomfortable, I'm grumpy, and I want to take a nap. My flute still works, but has definitely sprung a leak that will need to be tended to. Quitting is not really my style, nor has it ever won anybody an orchestral position anywhere.
We're going to leave it to a vote, GroupThink. I am your flute sensation. Am I flute sensationing my way to Kentucky, tonight? Or do I have your permission to sit this one out?
You have until 5 p.m. central to weigh in.