Right now I am struggling with wanting really badly to be selfish and do what I need to take care of myself and better my life and knowing that I can’t do that because my wife is hurting.

She has gone through a long series of shit things since we got married a couple years ago that have been awful. I feel so bad for everything she is going through and want to be helpful and just be there for her, but I am struggling. I’m trying not to be resentful of how much time and energy I spend on what is going on with her when I fail to do basic things that I need to for me.

I’m depressed for sure, but I also feel kind of hopeless. Like how am I allowed to even try to dig myself out of this when her shit is so much bigger and worse? I feel like I am not allowed to be that selfish when she needs me. I feel guilty even admitting that I want to.

Am I a terrible person? Does feeling like this mean I just shouldn’t be allowed in relationships? Anyone else ever felt like this?