Kinda embarrassing, but...
GUYS! I cleaned my apartment! But hey...hear me out...
I have been living in level 2 hoarders shit for the last year. It's been a badly kept secret the entire time and a huge source of anxiety for me. I think my depression issues manifested itself in...filth. Although, to be fair, I had inherited a TON of shit from my parents (they own the apartment) and it was easy to just pile my own shit on top of it. In any case- it was making things much worse for my depression and anxiety.
BUT! I cleaned it! I heaved SO. MUCH. CRAP. Every single thing that I knew I didn't need (or was just old and needs to be replaced) was thrown out. And now I am left with all this space! So much space that I actually decided to take a trip to Ikea this afternoon and treat myself to some new end tables, lamps and a coffee table (Things I NEEDED). A HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I sort of feel like I can start my life over again, which is pretty awesome since I'm also struggling with the breakup feels at the moment.
I'm proud of myself! And now I get to decorate and paint and slowly build the beautiful living space that I know I will thrive in. This is the healthiest thing I have done in a long time.
I have already created a list of things that I MUST do at the end of every day to ensure that this shit never happens again. I will not let my depression manifest in this way anymore. If for no other reason than because this place has SO much potential. It can and will be SO beautiful once I am done with it. And I'm crazy excited to start!
So yeah. I thought I would share my AWESOME news with you guys since I'm always all "omg woe is me" up in here. But. Yeah. I did it! I FINALLY did it!