Last week I went for my annual gyno appointment and the first time she pressed my abdomen it HURT! And continued to hurt for a day and a half! That is not right, is it? I have had an endometriosis diagnosis for 20 years, since that time I had to pull off the road because my cramps were so bad. But you know it's a fake diagnosis, because they can't really tell without doing laparoscopy. I have a fake diagnosis of IBS too, AND fibromyalgia. AND interstitial cystitis. I say fake because there is no test for any of these and nobody really knows what causes this pain. That's assuming they believe I have pain and don't just prescribe weight loss.

For the past several years I have had to cut back on work hours - part time is all I can manage. I think I have adhesions in there, and I recently read that your immune system may try to destroy the adhesions but can't, so could that be why I so frequently feel like I have the flu?

I feel hopeful, that if that is the problem and I get scooped out like a pumpkin, maybe it will be better? I also feel mad, like if this has been the problem for 20 years, could I have had a much different life if I'd had a hysterectomy then? I never wanted to bear children, I always wanted to adopt from foster care which is what we finally did. Now that I'm 44 they bring up the hysterectomy option, but 20 years ago no one would believe me when I said I had no interest in using my uterus, thanks!

Today I have yet another ultrasound, which will probably show nothing, but then she will do laparoscopy and see once and for all. Last time one ovary was twisted around and hiding behind my uterus. Doesn't that sound like an adhesion? If it's still there today two years later it seems likely to me.

Pain sucks. You learn to live with it, but it really sucks.