No. The papers you turned in on Monday will not be handed back today. Or Friday. Or probably even next Mon.

Maaaaybe next Wed. Maybe.

Cuz you know what? I have 75 of those suckers to grade. Seventy. Five. And yeah, it's gonna take me a hot minute to get them all tended to.

Remember how you had 3 weeks to write and revise your paper? Your one paper? Man, that was nice, right?

I might need more than 2 days to look at this stack of 75.

So, darling student, while I love you so much, and I appreciate your contributions to class and I truly do look forward to reading your paper, back the fuck up.