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HA HA AH AHAHAHAAH no.

No. The papers you turned in on Monday will not be handed back today. Or Friday. Or probably even next Mon.

Maaaaybe next Wed. Maybe.

Cuz you know what? I have 75 of those suckers to grade. Seventy. Five. And yeah, it's gonna take me a hot minute to get them all tended to.

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Remember how you had 3 weeks to write and revise your paper? Your one paper? Man, that was nice, right?

I might need more than 2 days to look at this stack of 75.

So, darling student, while I love you so much, and I appreciate your contributions to class and I truly do look forward to reading your paper, back the fuck up.

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