As you can see, Levitas Cat and I are locked in an eternal battle for control of the touchpad on my laptop (center-of-my universe, hub-of-all-output-that-gives-my-existence-meaning workspace). We lock horns like tea partiers and liberals (he is clearly the tea partier, being immune to all reasonable rhetoric). Our battle rages day and night.

We are Napoleon and Wellington.

We are Hannibal and Scipio.

We are Gesar and Zabulon.

We are Harkonnen and Atreides.

We are Valjean and Javert.

We are Browncoats and Alliance.

You get it.

So.

I've taped an index card (fairly thick stock) over the touchpad, but to no avail. My defenses fail me. I'm typing and editing important documents and he keeps moving my cursor. This has been going on for years, but I'VE HAD IT NOW. I must secure victory once and for all. How do you win this battle without banishing the adorablez kitteh (which doesn't work...he just circles around and pours himself back into position) or turning off the touchpad (which I don't think I can do)?