After four years of not wanting to smile too big or laugh too hard, four years of being afraid to search for a new job because of a lack of confidence in my appearance, I finally took a step in the right direction.

I’m buying a damn tooth.

My right eye tooth fell victim to a partially-finished root canal and was never crowned. We were poor and without insurance, so I never got it fixed. Eventually it just rotted away and crumbled out of my face.

Groupon was (and is!) offering an additional 20% off, so I bought a package for $2000 toward a dental implant. The package was $99, so about $80 with the addition 20% off. I’m going in for my consultation on June 3, and I’m pretty stoked at the prospect of having my smile back.

I fully recognize how lucky I am that I’ll be able to do this, but please know I will be whining and in pain, so you have to look forward to (be honest, you’re a schadenfreude-loving group).

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This, along with starting on retinol and an actual skin-care regimen, and restarting smoothies is my attempt to get my shit together. For revenge-hotness, and eventual sex!