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Welcome To The Bitchery
Illustration for article titled Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 16: All hail the reigning Weasel of God!

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened once more, and your professors are waltzing right in!

This week on Advanced Muggle Studies, we discuss: Oliver Wood’s priorities; we need to discuss phrasing; smarmy Lockhart and softie McGonagall; Hermione Granger saves lives; Hogwarts civic planning must be magic; the history of the basilisk; cockatrices and cock eggs; the strangely powerful weasel; the Superman effect on the Voldemort of the Wizarding world; the complicated history of snakes, lions, birds and griffins; it always comes back to Satan; the powerful Garden of Eden metaphor for strength of character; tiny Snape hints; Lockhart schadenfreude; who knew witch hunts could be so complicated?; the naivete of children; privileges of being a Weasley parent; proof that Lockhart is a shitty wizard; Lockhart as human shield and discredit to the human race; Slytherin the egotist; and the definitive Best Version of Voldemort.


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