Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
Illustration for article titled Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 6-7: Common Sense Dictates a 20-Week Mandrake Ban Until Women Stop Sinning With Their Butts

Welcome back to Advanced Muggle Studies! And if the title this week doesn’t get you to come check us out, I doubt anything will.


This week, we discuss: the social leverage of Howlers; Gilderoy Lockhart’s narcissism; Google already knows what you’re thinking; The Matrix dude fantasies; mandrakes and sexual commerce in the Bible; hallucinogenic coincidences; anatomically correct root vegetables; the doctrine of signatures; keep the dog, lose the mandrake; posh Justin Finch-Fletchley; Republican wizards and the 20-day mandrake waiting period; what is Spellotape, really; perfect Colin Creevey; Lockhart’s magical Google alerts; Mormon fever dreams; Cornish pixies v. Pornish pixies; morning Wood; Hooch v. Snape; Mudbloods and the politics of racial slurs; anti-Semitism and the ugly history of Jewish blood libel; Black Mirror and genocide; why Judas Iscariot proves that sin enters (and exits) through the butt; the periodic penitence of menstrual periods; the bloody flux; wizarding eugenics; Confederate truck nuts and racist gun shows; 50 Shades of the Chamber of Secrets; the difference between wizard photos and portraits; and whether listeners will forgive us for this truly bizarre and NSFW episode.

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