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Want to require male permission for us to get an abortion? Cool! There are just a few steps we'll have to take before you actually have the privilege of entering my slutty sexhole.

  1. Prior to fornication, you must have written consent from me that I agreed to this intercourse. I know that doesn't sound hot and might ruin sex forever, but there shall be NO question as to whether this act of sex was agreed upon by both of us.
  2. Prior to fornication, written consent must be provided that if a pregnancy ever occurs from our dirty sex, I, the lowly female, shall be able to get an abortion. If you do not sign this, no fornication will occur. I repeat, you forfeit your *right* to fornication with me without signing an abortion contract.
  3. Prior to fornication, you need to sign over any and all ejaculate to me, including that which has yet to be fully formed but is in your precious testicles. You see, once we fornicate, it's important that it's clear we have ownership over each other's reproductive organs. Those are my potential babies swimming around in your balls, dude. You can't just go shooting my almost-babies in the eyeball of whomever you like.

Does this sound like a deal to you? Sounds good to me. We're all covered - sexual consent, so I can't falsely accuse you of rape. Consent about abortion so I can make an informed decision about whether to sleep with you. Consent that I own your ejaculate, just as you will own the zygote and fetus that could exist within me.

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