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Back and Forth

He goes from loving me to not being able to stand me. From wanting to take time apart to wanting to make love. He resents my depression. But feels really poorly about that. His dad is dying and he is not handling it well. Ironically, he's the one still in therapy so that's good except he sees my shit therapist. And I'm doubtful she's actually helping him but he feels like it is. I'm a crying mess most days at work. I spend most of my days fending off crushing thoughts of inadequacy in every area of my life. The only thing that keeps me from a nervous breakdown is being stoned to the gills and I'm told that's not really a healthy way to deal with it. I don't know how to help either of us. I'm incapable of controlling my crazy it seems.


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