and I'm scared. But, rather than cry here—I've been crying off and on all afternoon, and I want to stop already—I want to ask you guys to share your stories of how you found your feet, your value, and self-worth, after a devastating breakup or rejection.
Trying not to dwell on the shittiness of it all, and I want to be hopeful. I want to reaffirm to myself that just because he doesn't want me—uh oh, the tears have started leaking again—doesn't mean that I am an undesirable lump of pathetic.
I am amazing to him and frankly, he isn't amazing to me. Still want him so badly. Trying to muster up some dignity. You guys...I have none. This realization intensifies the undesirable lump of pathetic feelings. Why am I a slave to brain chemicals?
Tell me of your triumphs, and victories, and sure, your heartaches and breaks. I love you guys, and I'm sorry if my posts lately have been whiny and heart-breaky.