So I’m watching Aussie rules footy tonight (it’s like football with rugby and basketball? Stuff.) and one of the commentators (look, I know the sport, not their names, I’m doing relatively well all things considered) is having a whinge about how mean people are on social media because he didn’t know where a place was (it’s in Tasmania, apparently). He mistakenly said it was somewhere else, and apparently people were mean and hurt his widdle feelings.

Look, I get it. People can be complete assholes online, especially when they have this guise of anonymity. But no. NO. You are a relatively wealthy, moderately famous WHITE MALE in AUSTRALIA. You have NO FUCKING IDEA how mean people can be. YOU DO NOT have a clue about internet harassment.

I posted to my own personal blog and got harassment from complete strangers who know my HUSBAND’S FRIENDS. They have no clue who I am, but they decided it was cool to threaten to beat me up and rape me because I said Australia has a race problem, much like the US, and that it needs to be addressed. I took it in stride because I HAVE BEEN GETTING HATE MAIL SINCE I BEGAN WRITING FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION 13 YEARS AGO AND ALSO I KNOW THEY ARE IDIOTS.

So I’m sorry, random white sports commentator, I’m sorry that the Internet hurt your poor feelings because you couldn’t properly use Google before opening your fat mouth. I’m sorry that, during a game where you are masquerading as a professional and a person of knowledge, you were called out for being WRONG and people were MEAN about it.

But you have no fucking idea what it is like. So shut the FUCK UP.

Sorry for that, thank you for reading, Fat Caterpillar loves you all.

Especially you, places with chicken fried steak. And biscuits and gravy. PLEASE, GOD, GIVE ME GRAVY.