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I had a really deep friendship growing up with another girl we'll call Nelly. Nelly and I were best friends in a sincere, serious way. In retrospect, our relationship was comparable to serious romantic relationships (but without the romance). We knew everything about each other, knew each other's families, and essentially lived with each other for a decade. (When I described this friendship to my husband, I described it as the same level of depth as my marriage.)

Our friendship took a lot of hits as college started. Many terrible, unavoidable things happened to Nelly. Poor choices were made on both sides. Our second time living as roommates our friendship completely devolved, and ended in an argument.

At the time, and for a long time after, I felt that it was probably for the best — we just weren't meant to be friends anymore. We weren't "good for each other." I felt like I was an emotional crutch for Nelly, and a doormat besides, and I don't know what she felt. Probably a lot of valid and similar things. I still cared about her, but thought it best at a distance.


Over the last couple years I've occasionally stalked her on Facebook, but besides that there's been zero contact. Then today — many years since we last spoke — she messaged me and let me know she was thinking of me, and could we meet for coffee?

OMG you guys, I messaged her back and now we're meeting for coffee next week. I don't know how to be. How do I overcome the impending awkwardness? Should I approach this like a brand new friendship?

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